I want to know why some people spend so much time analyzing friendships.
I'm confident in my ability to choose good friends, and choose acquaintances. I think I'm smart enough to figure out real friends from fake ones - long-lasting from short-term. It has to be exhausting to spend so much time wondering who cares about you. Maybe it's a confidence thing. I believe in myself. I'd be friends with me. Maybe if you wouldn't be friends with you, then you spend a lot of time wondering why anyone else would want to be.

-l.jo.

i want to know why some people spend so much time analyzing relationships. I'm confident in my ability to chose guys (though i haven't chosen one before...but i am CONFIDENT). and I'm smart enough to know what i am doing. i believe in myself. so lay off. so what if you aren't happy with the guy that i'm with. i don't want to hear it in 1000 different ways, shapes and forms. you're not spending time with us, so really, what do you know?

if i decide to go back with him, it will be a personal decision. some of my decision will be weighed on what advise i was given, what i had been told. but these matters are questions of the heart, mine, not yours. i will decide and what i decide, well, you'll have to be happy with it either way.

but one thing i have learned about myself...i don't like unwanted advise. i do things my own way. and no one knows better how to run my life than me.

so i'm posting. where's my dvd??

i was just going to stop it there, but figured since i'm on, might as well leave something.

i killed my eye again...and this time the blurriness isn't going away as fast, which means i might have to go to a specialist to see if there is an underlying problem...and it may mean glasses for a really long time. i hate my life.

went to the lake with my beloved squeak this weekend. it's good to have her back in the states. all we did all weekend was eat, watch movies, swim and sleep. it was so relaxing. i think our butt's are imprinted in the chairs.

i broke it off with the supposed boyfriend. but things are so confusing. becasue the reason that i broke it off with him might not actually be true. and it's also really confusing because we weren't really dating this time around. and i don't know what to do. i think we need to talk some more and only time will tell. i guess it's getting him to talk though and if he won't return the calls to talk...why waste my time on that? but i do miss him...we have such a good time together.

and that's all that's really in my life. lots of working and my room is always a mess. and it's hot. kind of wish the guy would call me back so that i could sleep at his house where it is cool.

it can only get better from here...

slacker

i know. but hey, it's summer. i wish that i could just open up word, type up my post and then hit a button that says post on blogspot. for some reason that seems faster and easier than logging in to blogger. i don't know.

but posting has become scarce due to the fact that i can no longer do it at one of my jobs and i hate my computer at home and only use it for correspondance during the night time hours. that and for storing all sorts of design projects, pictures and music. that's it. otherwise, it's loud and noisy (sometimes) and slow. and my desk is filled with crap and papers that i haven't quite figured out what to do with.

in other news, my birthday was last week and i turned the old age of 22. that's right. double deuce. and i still say i'm 21 when people ask. shoot. i'll get used to it. it was a good birthday except that i did get yelled at by a good friend. that did not please me, but we're working on it.

jenny left for florida yesterday. i'm not a crier, but i almost did shed some tears. she's my twin sister pretty much. i'll see her at xmas though.

my eye was better but then i wore black eyeliner (which i think is the source of my problems) and both my eyes are now red. i look like i was doing crack at dmb this last weekend...

which the concert (dave matthews band) was really good (and no i did not join in on the crack and pot fun that others, appeared, to be having. gross). i had such an amazing time. i'm really glad that zerek came with me because it allowed me to be a little comfortable around everyone. i think if he hadn't come with i would have retracted into my little shell. but zerek and i got to spend some quality time together and i got to go camping...and now that i'm back, i think i've had my camping fix for awhile. i hate porter potties and communal showers. but other than that, lots of fun, lots of stories. i'll post pictures later.

but now back to the work week! and pirates of the caribbean tonight plus thursday night vball and burgers at slims!