last first day of school

hopefully. that's the plan anyways. it was pretty boring too. woke up (tried to wake up and do the early morning work out thing but as always it never works), went to first class at 9, had an hour off, another class at 10, an hour off and then another class at 1. then i worked out, went to work for a few hours and then a habitat meeting. which i am no longer president of (so i could help train in the new president while i was still in college). it's going well.

and today is my little sister alli's bday. she is turning the fabulous age of 14. and if all goes well, she will get her long lost wish of getting a cell phone. i think it's the only thing she wants more than anything else in life.

so yeah...that was my day...

and saturday (on a side note) happened to be a lucky day for me. but not too lucky. off of 4 lotto tickets i won 10 dollars. and then i came home to find a scholarship check in the amount of 500 written out to me. i proceeded to buy a powerball ticket thinking that there was no way i could go wrong. but of course i didn't win. how freakishly weird would it had been if i did win?

what would you spend your millions on?

my top 3:

1. school
2. credit card debt
3. i would buy my self a house or a car or somthing...

and then some would go to certain organizations and the rest into some sort of bank investment where it can build over the years. and then i would retire early.

the end.

seriously though...tell me your top three. where would your millions go?

i have never found myself missing him more. i thought it was supposed to get better over time...and it hasn't. and i'm not possitive...but he may have taken a job in another city. i'll have to check on that. and if he has, i'll be really sad.

and for now...i want nothing to do with boys. none of them seem to want what i want...and that's just not cool.

i haven't had this much fun in weeks...

so how come i want to call him?

ummmm...spoiled.

i don't remember the last time i have ever been bought this many clothes.

my mom, sister and i did damage in fargo today and pretty sure the retail stores will be sending thank you letters for the amount we spent. it was pretty much better than christmas...and nothing is better than christmas.

i found some hot deals at old navy where i got a long sleeve tee, pj shorts (that say good morning sunshine), 2 skirts and a halter top all for 30 dollars. at aeo i scored some yoga pants and another skirt for 20. i also found the perfect bra today and got 2 of them (sorry if you didn't want to read that...but that's how much i love it), got a new pair of brown shoes, a pair of brown pants, black pants, twill pants and plaid pants, 2 button up blouses, a sweater and a tank...all bought by my mom. i don't know where she found the money but i can definetly say i'm grateful.

but i'm shopped out. too bed and tomorrow i'm back in btown to work!

lyrics on my mind

and if you love me, then tell me
all of the time
and can i love you, i want to
i want to try

You got soul, you got class.
You got style, with your badass - oh yeah!

not exactly high class songs...but they are on repeat in my head. they're just a little catchy. i want to dance every time i hear that christina song.

Hobson Memorial Union sponsored a team in the first-ever Lake Bemidji Dragon Boat Festival August 5th. Members of the "Beaver Tails" were: Brina Ellison, Jessie Taray, Cody Nelson, Lisa Farwell, Jeremy Anway, Andrew Cashin, Melissa Arneson, Glen Schmidt, Barb Butler, Sam Malloy, Petra Remeta, Mary Tosch, John Larson, Jose Hernandez, Brian Hudson, Rosin Shakya, Nima Lama, Bikram Ale, Gabe Wakanabo, Christina Kippenhan, T.Todd Masman, Tim Stoltenburg, Andrea Kroll, Seth Wymore, and Cory Haack The BSU team palced 18th out of 36 teams with a two-race, average time of 5:04.57, and a great time was had by all. --BSU TODAY

yup...i paddled a boat. it was so much fun. i'm telling you...you should be in a dragon boat race. besides the hard, grueling work...you'll have a great time.

i think i miss that team and working out phase of my life. it's gonna hit harder that ever with girls high school swimming season starting. but i plan to hit the pool hard core this fall...mmmm...chlorine!

sisterly love

i love hearing the words of my little innocent sister. she makes everything seem so...much smaller :) here's our convo as we were falling asleep last night.

alli: we took the boat down the mississippi on to lake irvine and stuff. it was cool.
andi: lake irvine? he lives on that lake.
alli: o really? that must be cool to live on a lake.
andi: yeah, it's nice...did i tell you i'm not with him any more?
alli: you aren't?
andi: nope. cheated on me again. i forgive once but not twice. people make mistakes but shouldn't make them twice.
alli: o.
andi: we might see him at the country club tomorrow.
alli: really...but i don't want to see him.
andi: eh, i wouldn't worry about it. it's not like we would acknowledge each other.
alli: can i beat him up for you?
andi: not at the country club. i can just see it now...alli all of a sudden tearing through the country club after him in an attempt to beat him up. he'd be like...what the hell? actually, if he got a good look at you he could probably tell who you were (we look remarkably alike for the 8 year difference).
alli: no, i don't think so. he seems to stupid for that.

haha...made me laugh :)

dragon boat queen

i've signed up to race in the big dragon boat festival this weekend. there's opening ceremonies and a parade tomorrow night and then i need to be at the "beaver dam" at 9:15 saturday morning to gear up to race. i really think we have a good chance of winning. unfortunatly, i have to work at 4 saturday so if we go into finals...i can't help win. i kind of like the rowing thing. in fact when i started college, if bsu had a rowing team, i so would have tried out for it. because rowing teams sound like so much fun. fact: i have never spent so much time on lake bemidji in one week. i like that there is actually things i can do out on the lake right now that are either free or cheap. fits my price range!

the ex is gone this week, which i think helps. i don't want to call him as often, or basically, i don't want any contact with him at all for awhile...just to see what it's like without him. i'm still confused with everthing thing as i know i can't go back to him...but what if, just for the hell of it...i did? what would happen? what would people think, say or do? right now they all tell me how to live my life...i'm just having a hard time trying to figure out if i'm desperate or if i do just want to be with him...because i can and i want to. it's confusing. i read this on another blog: "i'm fine with being me, but it's hard to be me without thinking about us." this person may have written this with a lot more meaning behind it...but really, i just lost a part of me.

so because of the whole thing in the above paragraph and because i have been confined to my glasses to at least the next 3 months...i have a morning spa appointment tomorrow. i'm getting a body wave put in my hair (ALLI DON'T TELL MOM) and then i'm going to get it cut and i'm going to see if they'll wax the eye brows too. apparently it's going to be a 3 to 4 hour procedure...and then i'm going to work at the btcc. woop woop.

ps....it's payday tomorrow. i think it will be a fantastic day :)

i don't mean to copy other people...

Which leads me to question the concept of right and wrong. This decision is certainly right for her, but not for the university. This sort of situation happens all the time in our everyday life. We constantly choose to either take a selfish course, or one that will make others happy. I guess you need both in your life to live a fulfilling life, but the balance is important. So how do you find this illusive balance? The world may never know.

I hate disappointing people, and that is what I have to do today. One way or the other. I wish I could clone myself (sometimes) and make everyone happy ... I guess something will work out.

I guess it always does.

katherine

...but it just seemed to express exactly what i was feeling.

blind (again)

i have to wear my glasses for the next 3 months. i hate this. good news: i get to pick out new glasses to be perscription sunglasses. that's about as good of news as it gets.

i'm still trying to figure out my love life. i spent time with him last night because i couldn't sleep so i stopped by his place and found him awake still. i'm not sure what i want to do with all this information i had. i have to figure out what i believe in i think...and then go from there. let's just remember that we aren't all innocent...and i think we still care a lot about each other.