Broadcasting Life

dragon boat queen

i've signed up to race in the big dragon boat festival this weekend. there's opening ceremonies and a parade tomorrow night and then i need to be at the "beaver dam" at 9:15 saturday morning to gear up to race. i really think we have a good chance of winning. unfortunatly, i have to work at 4 saturday so if we go into finals...i can't help win. i kind of like the rowing thing. in fact when i started college, if bsu had a rowing team, i so would have tried out for it. because rowing teams sound like so much fun. fact: i have never spent so much time on lake bemidji in one week. i like that there is actually things i can do out on the lake right now that are either free or cheap. fits my price range!

the ex is gone this week, which i think helps. i don't want to call him as often, or basically, i don't want any contact with him at all for awhile...just to see what it's like without him. i'm still confused with everthing thing as i know i can't go back to him...but what if, just for the hell of it...i did? what would happen? what would people think, say or do? right now they all tell me how to live my life...i'm just having a hard time trying to figure out if i'm desperate or if i do just want to be with him...because i can and i want to. it's confusing. i read this on another blog: "i'm fine with being me, but it's hard to be me without thinking about us." this person may have written this with a lot more meaning behind it...but really, i just lost a part of me.

so because of the whole thing in the above paragraph and because i have been confined to my glasses to at least the next 3 months...i have a morning spa appointment tomorrow. i'm getting a body wave put in my hair (ALLI DON'T TELL MOM) and then i'm going to get it cut and i'm going to see if they'll wax the eye brows too. apparently it's going to be a 3 to 4 hour procedure...and then i'm going to work at the btcc. woop woop.

ps....it's payday tomorrow. i think it will be a fantastic day :)