got this off of anothers blog. kind of like it. others may not, but i kind of do.

You know boys are a funny thing. I mean you look around Bemidji and there is not much to choose from. Let's face it; Bemidji is not the ideal place to meet guys. Oh yes there is some great eye candy up there, what with all those Canadians so close to the border and with all those business majors and their hot ties (I like men's ties what can I say??). But truly, there is not a whole lot to pick from. But then fate steps in and BAM! Like a freight train headed due north, it hits you. You are looking for something that doesn't exist, not truly. My mother and I were dress shopping today and I was having the worst time picking a dress that I truly loved. Now granted i am a VERY picky person when it comes to my dress, but there was not much to choose from in that department either. Well, as i was complaining to my mother about the lame selection aloud in the third store we walked into, she turned to me and said "_____, you aren't going to find that perfect dress because the image that you have in your mind, the dress of your dreams is only in your mind and no dressmaker can bring that to life for you". As I continued looking I realized that i had been taking the same approach I did for dresses, to men. I have always imagined an ideal man. Someone perfect, someone wonderful, funny, intelligent, etc. I had even created a list of the qualities i was looking for in the man I would date, or at least end up with. But then i realized, that man doesn't exist nor will he ever. I am looking for a dream, a figment of my imagination. Someone so perfect and wonderful no human can compare. And so all this time as I was struggling to not only find that perfect person, but that perfect person interested in ME, I had missed many chances at perfectly wonderful human relationships. I have feared i would end up alone and single all the rest of my days but I realized if that happened it would be my own fault because i never allowed the perfectly wonderful guy to approach me while I was waiting for a saint. And so I apologize to all the men in my life that i have let down and hurt. I have been trying to reform myself and hopefully when i return in the spring I will have loosened up a bit and will be much more... approachable.

i just thought it was interesting, despite the rambles, because i think it's completely true. men are not perfect, just as women are not either. i embrace a man's imperfectness...i think its great character. and if they mess up? i forgive them, just as i would forgive anyone else, because i know it could happen to me too.

300 dollar check..............

please get here sooooooonn..............................

i am broke.....................

and i still need to buy my squeaky an xmas gift.....................




that's it.

this may be one of the most challenging things i've ever had to do.

how do you comfort someone who has lost a family member to suicide?

i know they need to grieve, but my heart hurts for them, having to watch them go through this pain.

i just want to take it away from them and make it all better. but i can't.

what happened to haloscan? i can't see if someone leaves me a comment...i went to their website and it seems as if the whole site is down. hopefully not for good?

for now...until haloscan comes back up or until i can get a new message thingy...shot me comments here: giggles1444@hotmail.com.

THE best website ever. i have a new obsession (along with the thrift store from below). go here:



www.etsy.com



it's a website where people can buy and sell hand made items. check out the necklace i just bought for $3. that's including shipping and handling. amazing.



so yeah, check it out...i have a feeling a lot of money (or maybe not so much??) will be spent there. or i can at least get ideas for myself to make artsy craftsy things.

all my papers are done...well, besides my thesis. i'm going to work hard on that this xmas break.

3 tests left. 1 will be hard. i think i will be eating tuna fish sandwiches for the rest of the week. but everything is well spaced out that i think i will be golden. i'm just excited to finish this semester off!

my new secret obsession? value thrift ...or whatever the thrift store is called that's located right outside of btown on south 71. it's amazing. i've bought some pretty amazing things there. i'm pumped to buy even more.

although, i do have to watch what i spend. i'm buying a macbook with a dual processor (i like both platforms so well...i can't believe there is a computer with both!) in february. i love loan money. but i'm sure it doesn't like me back. there will be payback one day, but for my new computer? i can take it.

this last weekend was amazing, yet challenging. i won't go into it, but i think it definetly brought me and a friend much closer together.

something to read? here's my last paper. if you're going to criticique it...be nice. a lot of hard work went into it!

Period Project Essay
St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican: What is its Function?


St. Peter’s Basilica, located in the Vatican City, Rome, is a place of pilgrimage for all those who practice not just Catholicism, but Christianity. Every day, 17,000-23,000 people line up outside the walls of Vatican City to venture inside. They each have different reasons for being there, ranging from jobs to daily mass to tourism, with many making their way to place their hand upon the foot of the giant statue of St. Peter, some even kissing his foot, thanking him for their safe journey to visit his final resting place.

With so many people visiting the basilica each day, it is curious to wonder what the common tourist sees as the function of the basilica. I had a chance to visit the basilica in April of 2005 with a group of students. St. Peter’s Basilica and its square were the last part of our tour through the Vatican; we were starting with the Vatican museum and then we made our way through the Sistine Chapel before entering the basilica. The Vatican is the home of many priceless pieces of artwork, most commissioned by Roman Pontiffs over the last 500 years. St. Peter’s Basilica is one of the largest works of art in Vatican City, as Michelangelo’s dome is visible in the skyline. Before I had the chance to visit St. Peter’s, I did not know the history of the basilica, and upon entering the basilica, I found that it hosted many important and impressive pieces of art, most of them donated to the church. I had no idea of what St. Peter’s Basilica actually stood for and it’s curious to wonder how many others visit the basilica as a museum and not a church. It seems to me that St. Peter’s may have somewhat of the same problem that Susan Slyomovics argued in her essay, “Cross-Cultural Dress and tourist Performance in Egypt,” where she states that tourists visiting Egypt seemed to be lured in by ancient Egypt but are “seldom aware of Egypt’s other attractions” (Slymovics). It seems as in some cases, the lure of the artwork, altars, monuments and grottos are so strong that visitors are seldom aware of St. Peter’s actual meaning. Although daily mass attracts thousands of people, 50 percent of people who enter St. Peter’s are tourists; but are they there to honor St. Peter or are they there to view its priceless artwork?

It is important to know why St. Peter’s Basilica was erected in order to better understand the buildings function. St. Peter’s Basilica was built to honor St. Peter; one of Jesus’ first named disciples. Peter was born Simon Bar-Jona and his brother, St. Andrew, another apostle of Christ, led him to Jesus. Peter was not always one to follow the rules and was usually described as unlearned and ignorant. He refused to let Jesus wash his feet and usually did not think before acting, in one case he sliced off the ear of the high priest servant at the moment of Christ’s arrest. However, he was very devoted to Jesus and had a great sense of humanity. Peter was the one who led the disciples back to Jesus when they became frustrated with Jesus’ teachings, claiming to whom else shall we go? Jesus eventually renames Peter, his name meaning rock. Jesus told Peter that he is the rock and is to be the foundation of the church. He is mentioned in the Bible to be the first disciple and after Christ’s crucifixion and rising, Christ appears resurrected to Peter first. Peter and Paul, another saint spreading the word of Christianity and Christ, came to Rome to spread the faith of Christ as Rome was the capital of the empire. Peter was the first bishop of Rome and later the first pope. Christians decided that they should name a new pope after St. Peter died to continue to lead the Christians on Earth. Peter was eventually crucified by Nero, emperor of Rome at the time, as Nero had a great dislike of Christians. Nero crucified him in his circus and he was buried nearby, outside the arena, on the side of Vatican Hill. He was crucified head downward on a cross because he claimed he was not worthy to die in the same manor as Christ. He appears with keys in his hands in many statues as he holds the keys to the church and when he arrives in heaven, he will hold the keys to the gates of heaven.

After Peter’s death, Christians began to pilgrimage to Rome to visit St. Peter’s grave. Small churches and hospices arose in the area due to all the people. Pope Leo IV surrounded the area with walls and towers which are still preserved today. Due to the large amount of people making their way to Rome to visit St. Peter’s grave, Constantine, the emperor of the time, decided to build a basilica in honor of the Apostle Peter, choosing to build it right on top of Vatican Hill, where St. Peter is supposedly buried. The basilica was also built on top of a Roman cemetery, using tombs laid to the west of the building as part of the basilica’s foundation. Constantine was determined to build the central most sacred part of basilica right above St. Peter’s resting place, however, no one for many years was even sure if that exact place was were St. Peter rested. In 1968, Pope Paul VI did announce that there was evidence that clearly states that St. Peter does rest directly under the altar of the old basilica and now the new basilica.

The church is built in reverse of how churches before the Constantinian Era were built. Before Constantine, the sanctuary of the church was at the East end. At St. Peter’s the sanctuary is at the West and the entrance at the East. This was so when whomever was giving the sermon at the high alter, the rays of the rising sun fell on that person. It is also said that during vernal equinox, at dawn, the doors of the church would be thrown open to let the first rays of dawn hit St. Peter’s shrine. This had to do with Constantine being a sun worshipper and the Romans identifying Christ with the god of the rising sun.

The old basilica is based off the Roman Hall of Justice Basilica. The chief judge’s throne turned into the bishop’s throne and assistant judges’ benches are where the worshippers now sat. The basilica also has 2 side aisles on each side of the nave, or the main aisle, which is different from the basic basilica plan and helps to support the weight of the roof. Also different is the transept that was added to the front of the basilica. This was added to help fit in all the people who came to worship and to create a Latin cross shape for the church. A narthex was also built to provide a place for those who had not yet been baptized. The basilica was finished rather quickly in 349 Common Era. It was built using remnants and bits and pieces of other buildings.

Over the years, old St. Peter’s began to decay. There was no one around for worship or to light candles for worship and there were cattle grazing off weeds in the atrium and actually entering the church. It was also discovered that the only thing holding the church up was the roof beams. The gold doors that once adorned the front of the church were stolen as war trophies by the German troops of Barbarossa.

Pope Nicholas V was the first to suggest rebuilding the basilica. Nicholas did not see all of his plans finished. He also had plans to restore Vatican City, which only a part of the city was rebuilt during his time. Pope Julius II took over the construction, and went looking for a new design for the church that would represent the great papacy.

Julius took on the construction of the basilica with demolition that took place bit by bit so that people could still visit. The start of demolition of the largest part of the old church took place on April 18, 1506. Bramante was whom Julius picked to design and rebuild the church. Bramante was inspired by the Pantheon and had designed the new church to have a Greek cross plan, so that when looking down at the church from above, it would resemble a Greek cross. The new basilica would be 5.78 acres and would be able to sit 60,000 people.

Works on the church then stopped for 20 years and when they started back up again there was a new pope and Bramante had also passed away. There was then a new competition between artists and their designs for the continuation of the reconstruction of the church. There were arguments between whether to continue the Greek cross design or to go with a Latin cross design, where one of the wings would be longer than the rest. Michelangelo finally took over the design as he really appreciated Bramante’s beautiful design plans. Michelangelo left his mark on the plans with the design of the dome at the top of the church, which today is one of the basilica’s most prominent features.

Michelangelo was not able to see the finish of his dome. In 1593, Giacomo Della Porta and Domenico Fontan took over construction. With each pope, Bramante’s initial design changed a little and there were many changes made due to the short amount of time each pope held the papacy. Pope Paul V decided to restore the basilica to its original Latin cross plan and eventually architect Carlo Maderno came and added 3 chapels to each side of the building and conducted the naves up to the current façade, which construction for was terminated for 400 years and the plans restored in 2000. The new basilica was finally consecrated in November 1626. In April of 2006, the Vatican celebrated 500 years of the construction of the new St. Peter’s Basilica.

Since St. Peter’s was first constructed, it has been accumulating pieces of now famous artwork under its large ceiling. It is home for many alters and monuments of well known saints and moments in Catholicism, some of these saints even buried in the grottoes and necropolis located below the basilica. Probably the most famous piece of work would be Michelangelo’s Pieta. The piece was commissioned by French cardinal Jean Bilheres de Lagraulas and was first located in the Old St. Peter’s and was later reinstalled in the new basilica. The sculpture is of the Virgin Mary holding the body of the now dead Jesus on her lap. It is said that this sculpture is Michelangelo’s most “finished” piece of work. This may be a very accurate statement as it is the only piece that Michelangelo has ever signed, as he went back to carve his name into his Pieta after visitors started saying it was another artist’s work.

Another piece that was originally in the old basilica would be Giotto’s Navicella, which is now restored over the main portico when you first enter the basilica. The mosaic, which is much smaller than what it originally used to be due to construction between the two basilicas, shows St. Peter walking on water during a storm. It is to represent the church and no matter how much the church has to deal with storms and oppositions, it will never fall, as it has a sturdy foundation. To the right of the main portico, is the Holy Door. Made by Vico Consorti, it is made of bronze, though originally wood, and on its door shows the sins that man has made through time. Every 25 years it is opened by the pope, during Jubilee. It is said that when a pilgrim to the church walks through the doors, all of there debts will be pardoned.

The giant papal altar, made by Bernini, rests directly over St. Peter’s resting place. His first work for the church, it took 9 years to complete and is made of Greek marble and bronze borrowed from the Pantheon. It also sits directly below Michelangelo’s dome and is the exact size to fit perfectly inside of the sky light in the center of the dome. Michelangelo’s dome is another great installment of the St. Peter’s. It was his gift to the church; he accepted no money for the design or construction of it, although he was not able to see it finished. It adds light to the large basilica and the windows that surround the lower portion of the dome give the dome a floating look.

The artwork, alters, monuments and grottos that St. Peter’s and the Vatican offer to view is how some people understand Catholicism; it is a better way for them to interpret what they believe in and what they stand for as a catholic. As art historian Elizabeth Lev says:

“You see how the work of Bernini reveals the interaction of the Holy Spirit throughout the church. When Bernini is working in St. Peter’s he’s trying to make us understand the presence of the Holy Spirit. When Michelangelo’s in the church, he’s trying to give us more of the physical presence of God. So the way that art and history and this sacredness of place all work together, provides just a draw to St. Peter’s.”

It is argued that with so many people entering St. Peter’s each day and the size of daily mass growing, that St. Peter’s will need to determine what exactly it’s function is. Many people entering the basilica are there to see and be amazed by the art work, to gaze at the towering building, and to visit the grotto located below the building. But how many people are actually there to honor St. Peter and what exactly his basilica stands for; what it was built for? It needs to be remembered that these pieces of art where made for those who pilgrimage to honor St. Peter, to help better understand his story and how he made it possible for you to understand Jesus’ story. It will be interesting to see how the Vatican deals with the growing number of people who come to St. Peter’s, whether they will need to expand the already large space provided for visitors. My only piece of advice to the future visitors is to know why St. Peter’s Basilica is there for you and know that the basilica and all that it holds inside were made to help you better understand the presence of the Holy Spirit.


Bibliography

Baumgarten, Paul Maria. “Basilica of St. Peters.” The Catholic Encyclopedia, Volume XIII. Published 1912. New York: Robert Appleton Company. Nihil Obstat, February 1, 1912. Remy Lafort, D.D., Censor. Imprimatur. +John Cardinal Farley, Archbishop of New York

Calvesi, Maurizio. “Treasures of the Vatican: St. Peter’s Basilica, the Vatican Museums and Galleries, the Treasure of St. Peters, the Vatican Grottoes and Necropolis, the Vatican Palaces.” World Pub. Co. Cleveland. 1962.

Hersey, George L. “High Renaissance and Art in St. Peter’s and the Vatican: an Interpretive Guide.” Chicago: University of Chicago Press. 1993.

“Interview with Elizabeth Lev.” http://www.stpetersbasilica.org/People/LizLev.htm

McNally, Augustin Francis. “St. Peter’s on the Vatican; The First Complete Account in Our English Tongue of its Origins and Reconstruction.” New York, Strand Press. 1939.

St. Peter’s Basilica.org. http://www.stpetersbasilica.org. October 20, 2006.

Slyomovics, Susan. “Cross-Cultural Dress and Tourist Performance in Egypt. Performing Arts Journal, Vol. 11, No. 3, The Interculturalism Issue. (1989), pp.139-148.

“The Vatican Collections: The Papacy and Art.” The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, and Harry N. Abrams, Inc., Publishers, New York. 1982.

square

yes, that quote was mine. don't know where it came from :)

also...do you have a blog up and running right now? you should let me know.

andi

i forgot how entertaining mean girls was. it's also a great tool for procrastination.

after this measly 4 page paper, the only paper i have left to type for my college career (as far as i can see) would be my thesis.

woohoo!

it was weird as i walked through the courtyard and into the next building that had a tunnel, making my way to work after picking up a salad at the union and passing by 18 year olds running after each other in the tunnels...i'm ready to be out. i'm ready for the real world and a grown up job.

it's kind of scary when you realize that you've grown up. but not as scary when you still realize how much growing up you have left to do.

i love how advertising talks to you. as of right now, i want a cherry colored chocolate phone from verizon. and i will sing christina aguilera's candy man song every time i see it. and if i owned one, i would probably put that song as my ring tone.

christmas is coming...$99. we could make it a contest to see who loves me the most?

saturday evening i went out to buy a new shirt (which it seems that this is what my life has amounted to: homework, work, and buying new shirts) with a friend. then i went home and wrestled with my hair for about an hour. it was curled, sprayed and i thought finally somewhat decent. it was nice that others noticed. at keg, the lady bouncer commented on my hair as well as the next 5 random people that i ran into. it was nice to know that an hour spent on looking good was actually noticed.

then i proceeded on with my usual saturday night: finding carly and her volleyball friends, dancing, having only 1 drink if that as i usually end up driving, and then when carly and her friends are ready to go home, i offer to drive them so that they don't have to go and find random people to drive them. one of her friends says that its my turn to get drunk next time we go out, which is something i haven't done in a long time. but when you have to worry about getting to the bars and getting home and who you have to entrust to do that duty...i would rather not drink and drive myself.

a couple of years ago i was sitting bored at my computer at work. for some reason i started looking at wedding dresses (for no particular reason at all) and stumbled upon a site call theknot.com. in order to look at wedding dresses, however, you had to sign up. which included setting a wedding date.

i just got an email today saying 10 months to go! it advised me that i should be shopping for my gown, auditioning djs and bands and booking my officient.

i suppose i better get on that.

i'm really tired right now and i just want to sleep but i have a ton of homework to do.

plus, i really want lots of sweets right now. like frosting. and chocolate chip cookies. and ice cream.

but i can't. but i can thursday night. i'll try and hold off until then.

for now....back to homework and 3d. eh.

my eye is twitching, i'm dead exasted. i had to do a mad dash across campus today that should have worked off all the food i ate in the past 24 hours...it was a long haul. i think i'm going to go take a nap and then have at-er again. to do tonight:

-3hd!
-art history paper
-read art history
-inventors of the future paper work
-battle of the bands preparations
-yoga make-up at 4:30

i have a lot of 3d to do this week. blah.

what????

Australia's Thorpe retires from competitive swimming

By MERAIAH FOLEY, Associated Press Writer
November 20, 2006

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) -- Five-time Olympic champion Ian Thorpe retired from competitive swimming Tuesday at the age of 24, saying breaking records "wasn't as inspiring as it should have been."

Thorpe, who held a news conference at a Sydney hotel, said he decided at "2:53 on Sunday afternoon" not to swim at next year's world championships in Melbourne and to end his pro swimming career.

"It's been a tough decision to make," he said. "I had to pick a time, that was the time. None of my goals included breaking any more world records. I knew how to do it, but it wasn't as inspiring as it should have been."

Speculation swirled for months about whether Thorpe planned to pull out of the world championships or quit the sport entirely. Local media reports predicted Thorpe would pull out of the national trials in Brisbane next month, citing the effects of a recent bout with glandular fever.

Plagued by illness, injury and a lack of motivation, Thorpe hasn't competed in a major international event since the Athens Olympics.

Thorpe burst onto the swimming scene as a teenager and swam to 13 world records between 1999-2002, becoming an international star after dominating at the Sydney Olympics.

"I was catapulted into the international limelight as a kid," he said.

He had to train in California earlier this year to escape the heavy media scrutiny in Australia.

"I've reached all the dizzying heights of this sport," he said. "I've also had a tremendous amount of success. I've also had setbacks -- the last round of them sent me to LA where I could focus on what I was doing with fewer distractions than I have here."

Thorpe said his training has gone well in the United States, but he still decided it was time to call it a career.

"It's a very dark question for me. Swimming has been a security blanket," he said. But, "I haven't balanced out my life. I realized I had to prioritize other things and had to let swimming take a back seat -- I'm looking at the next phase."

Thorpe and American Michael Phelps are acknowledged as the stars of the sport.

"Ian was an inspiration and a terrific champion," Phelps said in a statement. "He elevated the worldwide interest in swimming and was a great ambassador to our sport. I wish him the best of luck in the future."

The Australian swimmer, nicknamed "Thorpedo," won the 200- and 400-meter freestyle events at the Athens Olympics.

He planned a yearlong break after Athens, claiming "mental fatigue" and hoping to stay fresh for major competitions down the road.

He later decided not to compete at last year's world championships in Montreal, then dropped out of the Commonwealth Games in March.

Thorpe, who won five Olympic gold medals and 11 world titles, did not entirely rule out a comeback.

"I never rule anything out, but it's not going to happen," he said as more than 100 photographers and reporters packed a hotel conference room for the announcement.

U.S. Olympic Committee spokesman Darryl Seibel called Thorpe a great Olympic champion.

"Whenever Michael Phelps and Ian Thorpe were on the pool deck together, there was instant electricity," Seibel said in a statement. "It had the feel of a championship prize fight or game seven in a World Series. You couldn't wait for the race to start, and once it did, you didn't want it to end. It was captivating ... two great competitors who brought out the best in each other and represented the highest values of international competition."

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-thorpequits&prov=ap&type=lgns

my sister, the stud that she is, dropped 2 seconds in her 100 fly to take 7th at state the other weekend...and she's a 8th grader. must have been that pixie dust that i made her that said "alli, you can fly!" gf central also took 3rd...the highest they've ever taken at state.

i pulled out my photography skills. here's some of my favorite shots that i took from the 2 day event:














some of the girls getting ready for warm-ups













central's freestyle relay team












red river getting ready for parade of athletes












practicing starts












michelle-belle waiting her turn for starts












michelle-belle during her 100 back prelim













the team with their trophy













hannah before her one of her races...she won both.



















rachaelann getting ready for a back dive.













cheers!













no matter what alli says, i think this one is cute (she focuses on her butt...)













alli doing breaststroke













cheers!













kathryn cheering



















alli before her 100 fly prelim. she looks tough.













warm-ups.













one of the girls doing breaststroke.













red river cheers!













michelle-belle doing backstroke.













alli doing her pretty butterfly.














apparently this picture hates me. the background is originally all black...and it looks really professional...but right now, it hates me...

those are just a few of my favorites...i took 900 pictures this weekend. wow.

the other night, i got to be a friend. granted i had homework assignments flashing through the back of my head, but this once, i got to sit down and listen and help instead of being plugged into a computer, typing up crap and researching and designing. i felt human again.

i missed that.

also, the other night, i got to cuddle. i had been missing that, too.

it's amazing how little emotions and gestures can bring so much meaning into life.

1 month till the semesters over!

here's a little truth about me. i am extremely independant. i do not take others advice unless i go looking for it. in fact i despise those who think they can give me advise. unless i ask you specifically, don't tell me what to do, just listen.

i know people are just trying to do the right thing, but sometimes, especially for me, the right thing is just to listen. don't even give me advise. i more than likely won't take it anyway. i'm just that stubborn.

but sometimes, you can catch me without my guard up. i'll be willing to curl up and let someone else actually take care of everything for the moment. after awhile i'll realize what i've done and my guard will go back up. and truthfully, i prefer it that way.

2.2? heck yes.

apparently i can still loose weight after eating a pumpkin pie blizzard at dairy queen the day before weigh in. how i did it? i will never know. total = 9.4

end of the semester (yes end...it's coming to an end...there are only so many weekends left to do homework) homework:

-thesis, thesis, thesis!
-3dh project...completely procrastinating
-art history paper
-world music paper
-journey that matters book

i can name more...well, there's tests too...ick.

just trying to stay ahead of the game! but i would ten times rather be:

-working on grad plans
-drinking and dancing with friends
-watching tv
-working on things (such as habitat and design guild things) that mean a little more to me right now
-sleeping
-finding a job
-making a much cooler resume
-making my resume website

i hate priorities.

bad week

well, it technically isn't a bad week. it may be in terms of weight loss for the week (as i sit and stare at the over flowing bucket of candy someone had to bring into the office), but i guess there are always other weeks. ktc and i need to hide that damn bucket i think...after sneaking a couple kit kat bars out before hand.

it also isn't a bright shining week as elections are coming. i hate campaigning. i feel like everyone is fighting and well...i'm not a fighter. that and i really can't stand the in-your-face-you-will-die-if-you-don't-vote-this-way campaigners. i'm really not a democrat...or a republican for that matter. but i do know which way i want to swing the polls. but do not hate me for wanting to vote other than what you want (which i feel i get most from the liberals). just chill out, everything will be fine.

and that's my two bits on elections.

also...its snowing out, i had THE hardest of times finding a parking spot. but its halloween. i have all my decorations up...and i've started scavengering for fall decorations. i'm a regular martha stewart i guess.

tonight: birthday, no supper (because of the all the candy i will consume), and some homework

later this week: commentary for doing anything! (at least that's what i hear...), and atc bowling night on thursday...and maybe karaoke? we'll see.

the hectic life of andi

3 nights in a row up until 3 am doing homework. i crashed on wednesday sleeping from 10:15 until 4...I had classes at 11 and at 1...oops.

i have a lot to get done in the next couple of weeks:

checked off thesis proposal. it's getting proofed hopefully as we speak.

still need to do:

art history power point presentation
world music paper rough draft
3d designs...and thesis designs
start thesis?
finish the rmrw site
finish the journey that matters edits (yes, my first published book!)

there's more in there. i'm just trying to stay ahead of the game but it seems like every time i do get ahead, those damn lib ed classes pile on the bull shit busy work homework that takes my time away from the work that does matter. damn undergraduate program.

that and i woke up this morning with a sore throat. sucks.

but...lost 2.8 pounds this week! tessa and i are going to celebrate with pineapple pizza and ugly betty and grey's anatomy.

this weekend i'm going to a surprise bday party. it's a little out of my way but so worth it. it will be fun.

also to note...my sister thinks she is a skank and proud of it. i on the other hand am not. where did she get these ideas? (ps...she's 14) or maybe it's just that i did nothing fun when i was 14. i had no friends. i had swimming...swimming was my friend...

well...have a fabulous weekend. i'll try to keep you all better entertained.

thesis schmesis

ever had to write a thesis or project proposal? i would rather be swimming 500s for the rest of my life.

it sucks major.

mmmm bep

i had so much fun at the black eyed peas concert. i danced my butt off. my brother zerek and i felt so bad that our sister alli couldn't be there. while we were standing in the doorway to get searched before entering, we were going over what she would be doing, wearing and such.

"she would be all like jumping up and down and hyper and stuff."

"she would have had me do her hair like mine. and she would have wanted to wear a slutty top. i would have had to bring one home for her."

"you think mom would let her?"

"i have this top that would look really cute on her..."

we tried to get her a shirt but the one that we were going to get her was all sold out when we went back to get it. other than that, they really didn't have anything that i think she would have liked. so we didn't get her anything. we felt bad though. we called her when fergie sang london bridge and when they sang the song pump it.

and did i mention that i almost got to party with them? well, i could have. i went out with some guy friends and we went to check out the bar that they were at. the line to get in was about 20-30 minutes and no one wanted to wait that long. so we went to the bar across the street. i actually met up with a few high school friends, which was fun. and i danced some more...but it was the more reggae songs, whch wasn't as fun, but i still had fun dancing...and then london bridge came on...good times. i wore heals out for this. i never wear heals. my feet killed. i walked back to my car bare foot, it felt sooo good.

and that was my night...i wish i could go to a bep concert every night and just dance. it was so much fun.

ITS THURSDAY

no, i'm not dead. just busy. i haven't been ignoring you, just haven't felt the need to write. so here's what's up:

ITS THURSDAY.

i consider thursdays the best day of the week. let me count the ways:

1. grey's anatomy (even though i have to tape it)
2. ww weigh in. which means its:
3. binge night! i can eat whatever i want all night long for one night only!
4. its the one night i will allow myself to drink a little.
5. karoake.
6. design guild meetings.
7. maybe a stop at slims...its like coming home!
8. no homework. i get it done earlier in the week so i don't have to do it on thursdays.
9. lots of friends, lots of drunkeness...craziness.
10. sleepovers. i love them.

i'm sure i could ramble off more, but i'll stop there.

and this thursday, its my good friend stephanie's 22. even more reason to celebrate.

i'm in east side this weekend for a little concerto by the black eyed peas. you may have heard of them. then some quality time with the fam before coming back to homeworkville. and work. gross.

other than that...life is good. how's yours?

last first day of school

hopefully. that's the plan anyways. it was pretty boring too. woke up (tried to wake up and do the early morning work out thing but as always it never works), went to first class at 9, had an hour off, another class at 10, an hour off and then another class at 1. then i worked out, went to work for a few hours and then a habitat meeting. which i am no longer president of (so i could help train in the new president while i was still in college). it's going well.

and today is my little sister alli's bday. she is turning the fabulous age of 14. and if all goes well, she will get her long lost wish of getting a cell phone. i think it's the only thing she wants more than anything else in life.

so yeah...that was my day...

and saturday (on a side note) happened to be a lucky day for me. but not too lucky. off of 4 lotto tickets i won 10 dollars. and then i came home to find a scholarship check in the amount of 500 written out to me. i proceeded to buy a powerball ticket thinking that there was no way i could go wrong. but of course i didn't win. how freakishly weird would it had been if i did win?

what would you spend your millions on?

my top 3:

1. school
2. credit card debt
3. i would buy my self a house or a car or somthing...

and then some would go to certain organizations and the rest into some sort of bank investment where it can build over the years. and then i would retire early.

the end.

seriously though...tell me your top three. where would your millions go?

i have never found myself missing him more. i thought it was supposed to get better over time...and it hasn't. and i'm not possitive...but he may have taken a job in another city. i'll have to check on that. and if he has, i'll be really sad.

and for now...i want nothing to do with boys. none of them seem to want what i want...and that's just not cool.

i haven't had this much fun in weeks...

so how come i want to call him?

ummmm...spoiled.

i don't remember the last time i have ever been bought this many clothes.

my mom, sister and i did damage in fargo today and pretty sure the retail stores will be sending thank you letters for the amount we spent. it was pretty much better than christmas...and nothing is better than christmas.

i found some hot deals at old navy where i got a long sleeve tee, pj shorts (that say good morning sunshine), 2 skirts and a halter top all for 30 dollars. at aeo i scored some yoga pants and another skirt for 20. i also found the perfect bra today and got 2 of them (sorry if you didn't want to read that...but that's how much i love it), got a new pair of brown shoes, a pair of brown pants, black pants, twill pants and plaid pants, 2 button up blouses, a sweater and a tank...all bought by my mom. i don't know where she found the money but i can definetly say i'm grateful.

but i'm shopped out. too bed and tomorrow i'm back in btown to work!

lyrics on my mind

and if you love me, then tell me
all of the time
and can i love you, i want to
i want to try

You got soul, you got class.
You got style, with your badass - oh yeah!

not exactly high class songs...but they are on repeat in my head. they're just a little catchy. i want to dance every time i hear that christina song.

Hobson Memorial Union sponsored a team in the first-ever Lake Bemidji Dragon Boat Festival August 5th. Members of the "Beaver Tails" were: Brina Ellison, Jessie Taray, Cody Nelson, Lisa Farwell, Jeremy Anway, Andrew Cashin, Melissa Arneson, Glen Schmidt, Barb Butler, Sam Malloy, Petra Remeta, Mary Tosch, John Larson, Jose Hernandez, Brian Hudson, Rosin Shakya, Nima Lama, Bikram Ale, Gabe Wakanabo, Christina Kippenhan, T.Todd Masman, Tim Stoltenburg, Andrea Kroll, Seth Wymore, and Cory Haack The BSU team palced 18th out of 36 teams with a two-race, average time of 5:04.57, and a great time was had by all. --BSU TODAY

yup...i paddled a boat. it was so much fun. i'm telling you...you should be in a dragon boat race. besides the hard, grueling work...you'll have a great time.

i think i miss that team and working out phase of my life. it's gonna hit harder that ever with girls high school swimming season starting. but i plan to hit the pool hard core this fall...mmmm...chlorine!

sisterly love

i love hearing the words of my little innocent sister. she makes everything seem so...much smaller :) here's our convo as we were falling asleep last night.

alli: we took the boat down the mississippi on to lake irvine and stuff. it was cool.
andi: lake irvine? he lives on that lake.
alli: o really? that must be cool to live on a lake.
andi: yeah, it's nice...did i tell you i'm not with him any more?
alli: you aren't?
andi: nope. cheated on me again. i forgive once but not twice. people make mistakes but shouldn't make them twice.
alli: o.
andi: we might see him at the country club tomorrow.
alli: really...but i don't want to see him.
andi: eh, i wouldn't worry about it. it's not like we would acknowledge each other.
alli: can i beat him up for you?
andi: not at the country club. i can just see it now...alli all of a sudden tearing through the country club after him in an attempt to beat him up. he'd be like...what the hell? actually, if he got a good look at you he could probably tell who you were (we look remarkably alike for the 8 year difference).
alli: no, i don't think so. he seems to stupid for that.

haha...made me laugh :)

dragon boat queen

i've signed up to race in the big dragon boat festival this weekend. there's opening ceremonies and a parade tomorrow night and then i need to be at the "beaver dam" at 9:15 saturday morning to gear up to race. i really think we have a good chance of winning. unfortunatly, i have to work at 4 saturday so if we go into finals...i can't help win. i kind of like the rowing thing. in fact when i started college, if bsu had a rowing team, i so would have tried out for it. because rowing teams sound like so much fun. fact: i have never spent so much time on lake bemidji in one week. i like that there is actually things i can do out on the lake right now that are either free or cheap. fits my price range!

the ex is gone this week, which i think helps. i don't want to call him as often, or basically, i don't want any contact with him at all for awhile...just to see what it's like without him. i'm still confused with everthing thing as i know i can't go back to him...but what if, just for the hell of it...i did? what would happen? what would people think, say or do? right now they all tell me how to live my life...i'm just having a hard time trying to figure out if i'm desperate or if i do just want to be with him...because i can and i want to. it's confusing. i read this on another blog: "i'm fine with being me, but it's hard to be me without thinking about us." this person may have written this with a lot more meaning behind it...but really, i just lost a part of me.

so because of the whole thing in the above paragraph and because i have been confined to my glasses to at least the next 3 months...i have a morning spa appointment tomorrow. i'm getting a body wave put in my hair (ALLI DON'T TELL MOM) and then i'm going to get it cut and i'm going to see if they'll wax the eye brows too. apparently it's going to be a 3 to 4 hour procedure...and then i'm going to work at the btcc. woop woop.

ps....it's payday tomorrow. i think it will be a fantastic day :)

i don't mean to copy other people...

Which leads me to question the concept of right and wrong. This decision is certainly right for her, but not for the university. This sort of situation happens all the time in our everyday life. We constantly choose to either take a selfish course, or one that will make others happy. I guess you need both in your life to live a fulfilling life, but the balance is important. So how do you find this illusive balance? The world may never know.

I hate disappointing people, and that is what I have to do today. One way or the other. I wish I could clone myself (sometimes) and make everyone happy ... I guess something will work out.

I guess it always does.

katherine

...but it just seemed to express exactly what i was feeling.

blind (again)

i have to wear my glasses for the next 3 months. i hate this. good news: i get to pick out new glasses to be perscription sunglasses. that's about as good of news as it gets.

i'm still trying to figure out my love life. i spent time with him last night because i couldn't sleep so i stopped by his place and found him awake still. i'm not sure what i want to do with all this information i had. i have to figure out what i believe in i think...and then go from there. let's just remember that we aren't all innocent...and i think we still care a lot about each other.

I want to know why some people spend so much time analyzing friendships.
I'm confident in my ability to choose good friends, and choose acquaintances. I think I'm smart enough to figure out real friends from fake ones - long-lasting from short-term. It has to be exhausting to spend so much time wondering who cares about you. Maybe it's a confidence thing. I believe in myself. I'd be friends with me. Maybe if you wouldn't be friends with you, then you spend a lot of time wondering why anyone else would want to be.

-l.jo.

i want to know why some people spend so much time analyzing relationships. I'm confident in my ability to chose guys (though i haven't chosen one before...but i am CONFIDENT). and I'm smart enough to know what i am doing. i believe in myself. so lay off. so what if you aren't happy with the guy that i'm with. i don't want to hear it in 1000 different ways, shapes and forms. you're not spending time with us, so really, what do you know?

if i decide to go back with him, it will be a personal decision. some of my decision will be weighed on what advise i was given, what i had been told. but these matters are questions of the heart, mine, not yours. i will decide and what i decide, well, you'll have to be happy with it either way.

but one thing i have learned about myself...i don't like unwanted advise. i do things my own way. and no one knows better how to run my life than me.

so i'm posting. where's my dvd??

i was just going to stop it there, but figured since i'm on, might as well leave something.

i killed my eye again...and this time the blurriness isn't going away as fast, which means i might have to go to a specialist to see if there is an underlying problem...and it may mean glasses for a really long time. i hate my life.

went to the lake with my beloved squeak this weekend. it's good to have her back in the states. all we did all weekend was eat, watch movies, swim and sleep. it was so relaxing. i think our butt's are imprinted in the chairs.

i broke it off with the supposed boyfriend. but things are so confusing. becasue the reason that i broke it off with him might not actually be true. and it's also really confusing because we weren't really dating this time around. and i don't know what to do. i think we need to talk some more and only time will tell. i guess it's getting him to talk though and if he won't return the calls to talk...why waste my time on that? but i do miss him...we have such a good time together.

and that's all that's really in my life. lots of working and my room is always a mess. and it's hot. kind of wish the guy would call me back so that i could sleep at his house where it is cool.

it can only get better from here...

slacker

i know. but hey, it's summer. i wish that i could just open up word, type up my post and then hit a button that says post on blogspot. for some reason that seems faster and easier than logging in to blogger. i don't know.

but posting has become scarce due to the fact that i can no longer do it at one of my jobs and i hate my computer at home and only use it for correspondance during the night time hours. that and for storing all sorts of design projects, pictures and music. that's it. otherwise, it's loud and noisy (sometimes) and slow. and my desk is filled with crap and papers that i haven't quite figured out what to do with.

in other news, my birthday was last week and i turned the old age of 22. that's right. double deuce. and i still say i'm 21 when people ask. shoot. i'll get used to it. it was a good birthday except that i did get yelled at by a good friend. that did not please me, but we're working on it.

jenny left for florida yesterday. i'm not a crier, but i almost did shed some tears. she's my twin sister pretty much. i'll see her at xmas though.

my eye was better but then i wore black eyeliner (which i think is the source of my problems) and both my eyes are now red. i look like i was doing crack at dmb this last weekend...

which the concert (dave matthews band) was really good (and no i did not join in on the crack and pot fun that others, appeared, to be having. gross). i had such an amazing time. i'm really glad that zerek came with me because it allowed me to be a little comfortable around everyone. i think if he hadn't come with i would have retracted into my little shell. but zerek and i got to spend some quality time together and i got to go camping...and now that i'm back, i think i've had my camping fix for awhile. i hate porter potties and communal showers. but other than that, lots of fun, lots of stories. i'll post pictures later.

but now back to the work week! and pirates of the caribbean tonight plus thursday night vball and burgers at slims!

well...i'm back from atlanta. and then i blinded myself. i took out my contacts on thursday night and my eyes instantly started watering. i woke up on friday and kt and jenny both had to do a double take with the mass amount of swelling my eye did. i, thinking that it was just my normal eye problem, called in to work, found a replacement for the morning and said i should be good to go for the night shift. well...it was more than that. i ended up going to the doctor, he doesn't know what caused it exactly so i'm on drops and i've seen my doctor every day since friday so he can make sure there isn't an infection. and right now my eye is still so swollen that i can't see out of it. but it's much better. i'm hoping to get vision back by my bday...3 days!

just to let you know...

that atlanta is going so well, that i've pretty much been offered a job here after i graduate.

and not only that, but that if all goes well with the grant that they are giving us (the school), that they plan on opening an office up in bemidji.

and i told them that i would definitely be interested in working for them there.

i am so freaking excited!!

atlanta

well...atlanta is going well. i got naucious (sp?) on the landings on the plane but other than that, i'm good. i'm sitting in my hotel room and am loving it. i ate (not my weight erica...i held back) chinese with barb for diner and then we went exploring. then i went running and now i'm just chilling and watching some tv. my clock says midnight and i feel like it is midnight...but my body should be feeling 11. must have been all that travel. i'm excited to pimp myself and dress for success in my new black skirt and white and black stripped top. maybe all that chinese chicken? who knows. but i'll let you know about all my 3d holographic adventures tomorrow...

i hate mondays

well, they actually aren't all that bad, but i have so many problems in my life right now that this particular monday is bad. i'm hoping things will look up. that's why i like thursday and fridays...life always looks 10 times better by then.

to go along with the last post:

5 exciting things that are happening in your life:

1. i'm going to atlanta june 19-22 for 3dh training paid for by bsu!
2. at work i'm getting a new mac: 30 inch monitor, dual processor, wireless mouse and wireless keyboard.
3. running is getting a lot easier. i just have to keep at it.
4. i will be out of the money danger zone in one week!
5. today is thursday and tomorrow is friday: bring on the weekend!

5 Things
I was tagged by julie...thanks for making me update! here's my answers:

5 Things in my Fridge (it's pretty sad...)
1. summer sausage
2. potato salad
3. cheese
4. strawberries
5. ketchup

5 Things in my Closet
1. clothes
2. dirty clothes
3. all my eurospring memorabilia
4. my flute
5. loads of art supplies

5 Things in my Purse
1. Camera
2. cash (aka going out money...that doesn't really get spent)
3. Phone
4. Pens
5. ID and credit cards

5 Things in my Car
1. mardi gras beads
2. Car phone charger
3. sunglasses
4. all sorts of cds
5. golf clubs

5 Things I wish I was doing right now
1. sleeping
2. Making out!
3. Laughing louder
4. running...but #1 is outweighing this one
5. floating around in an outdoor pool

5 Things I like most about my bedroom
1. my big bed!
2. cy computer
3. Pictures of friends, family and travels
4. my martini glass collection
5. it's right across from kt's bedroom!

ahhhh...i tag:

katie
erica
alli

oops...

so i found this on the wrong blog. it was supposed to be posted on here on september 15. how weird is that?

ouches

what i did to my heel...i don't know. but i can't walk on it. i'm now slightly gimpy, as i'm walking on the ball of my left foot, as to avoid the hurt of the heel. all i've done today is sit and teach an FYE class. i just got up from my chair at work and noticed it hurt. we're still not sure what's wrong...hmmm.

and in the news...amanda, jenny, kristin are sick and tessa's just getting better. amanda is deathly sick...i'm on call tonight if she needs anything. we may need to do a hospital run. i hope she gets better. and i hope that kt and i don't get the bemidji epidemic 2005.

here's to the end of another year.

the craziness is done. summer is here.

(almost) all my friends have graduated. the hardest part won't be seeing them leave to live out their fabulous lives...it was watching them all take that step together without me...and having the time of there life doing it, even though they keep repeating that they wish i was there.

one more year here in btown. at least i have one more year of _________. college life? i'm not sure how to describe my years here in bemidji. free falling? hmmm.

i have found my inner wild child. sometimes i wish i never found it. now i just have to wait for the phase to pass. i watched all my friends go through the phase and pass out of it. now that i'm going through it, they won' t let me...they're too protective. but i'm enjoying it. no regrets ;)

and bring on the lazy working days of summer.

should be a good night tonight...i make my acting debut...should also be an interesting night.

martini party recap


by mike nohner

the martini party was a huge success
i just wish the house wasn't such a mess
i also wish my underwear didn't end up in a tree
and what was up with the whipped cream?
all in good humor, all in good fun
i can't wait for next year so that we can have another one
i even got struck with a kiwi to the face
had it been another time or place
you might have got to see the fighting side of me
luckily we were at the martini party
george burns pretty much got raped
funny thing is that he's a hundred and eight
drinks were drunk and good times were had
for those that left early, well that's too bad
we were singing and dancing and having a grand old time
even though the table got ruined, that's just fine
we had watermelon bombs and mcdonald's cups
we even celebrated earth day by recycling stuff
so here's to those who came and conquered
to those who drank and wandered
to those who had a good time
and to everybody who is now a friend of mine

i realize that i've kind of been slacking with this blog. life is a little hectic and when i have down time, i'm lazy. and i just guess that's how it goes.

i was just told that i got the funding to work with 3d holographic technologies this summer. it will make my summer hectic, but hopefully well worth it.

yesterday was beautiful outside...it was so warm. i got to spend it out at the golf course and unfortunatly i was inside working...and the air wasn't really turned on. i was so hot. now today, it's all crappy and cold out. gross.

i did a crap load of dished today and due to the fact that i had to go to class, they still aren't all done. i feel like dishes consume my life.

i got the porch up and working this last week. table, chairs, and major cleaning of dust took place. plus, i plugged in a fridge! it's fun.

and that was a bunch of ramblings. i hope you enjoyed it!

my acting debut:



you better be there.

quote from my stephie:

If I could wrap my arms around BSU, and give it the biggest, most meaningful hug in the entire world, I would.

I love it here.

cheers to that, my new roomie!

guy psych update

all is good. turns out i read him right on. ahhhh....chicken.

guy psychology

the boys (or maybe just one boy) in my life have pissed me off. and it takes a lot to piss me off. i try so hard to understand their way of life and every time i think i understand, they do something that just bewilders me to no end.

or maybe it is that i do understand, that i can see what they are doing, but just wish they would all grow up and hope that they could open their eyes and see exactly what it is that they are doing and then act accordingly.

or maybe....it's just me.

opportunities coming my way:

3d holographic part time job on campus

i get to research for the new technology that we have on campus. it's a beta version and i get to help write the manual...kind of exciting!

which means...one more summer in btown!

and dmb this summer...it's going to kick butt.

life or something like it

i have to admit, when i get the time to sit on the couch these days and watch tv, i take it. i feel bad though because i'm pretty sure my roommates only see me sitting on the couch when they do see me.

i'm sick. with a cold/allergy thingy. i want to go out tonight and party with the rest of BSU but i have to be at school dressed and ready (in my suit!) at 7:45. and i need to go to bed early tonight to try and kick this cold away. sometimes i don't understand student achievement day. all it's doing for most of BSU's population is giving them a night to go out and party in the middle of the week. o well...if you can't beat em...join em!

and that's all really. 3d holographic presentation 10:30 tomorrow. then i'm good for awhile...easter and a paper, 2 projects, a test and i'm good to go for the school year. it's winding down fast...bring on summer!

alli and zerek...
nd state short course swimming championships

i got my first professional suit attire today for my presentation i'm giving in april.

i would feel more grown-up except for the fact that my mom bought it. at least i got some cool shoes out of the deal.

and what's with all the ill-fitting suits at most stores? horrible.

a visit with the g-parents

grandma: well, if you want my opinion, you don't need a guy. If a guy offers you a ring, you tell them that your grandma said no.

grandpa: unless he's a millionaire.

grandma: no, she'll be making millions anyways.

a-lister?

so i've kind of been playing the part of movie star the past couple of months and i'm having a lot of fun with it. you can check out the script and pictures here:

http://biro.bemidjistate.edu/~morgan/wcw/index.php/AaronReini/DoingAnythingScript

an afternoon off

i feel guilty, but they made me stay back this afternoon. it is kind of relaxing though...i'm listening to really great classical music and surfing the internet on brynn's computer, all snuggled up on her airmatress with her fleece over me, trying to regain warmth. soon i'm gonna go take a nice long shower. and then nap i think...but i'm sure they will be back by about that time. i'm hoping i feel more up to 100 percent by then.

we played a made game of catch phrase last night...well they did, i joined for a little. they had to remind themselves to keep it down for most of the game. didn't want to wake the neighbors up.

today: snow...and coldness. which is why they wanted me to stay back. but cabinets (expensive ones...we had to be careful) and vanity's and mirrors and expensive drapes and toilets and all sorts of stuff we're scrounged up from around the demolition house for h4h to resell.

tonight: bowling...i think.

tomorrow: looks like a new house, getting ready for dedication. pretty sure we're almost done with demolition on the rich house we've been slaving at for the last 2 days.

friday: half day work...and then the long trip home.

i'm sick in new jersey. and i want to have fun. this sucks.

that and i wanted to post images on here for you guys to see of our days here so far...and it wasn't working.

ugh.

go phila!

i'm loving new jersey and philadelphia. today we had off so we got lost trying to find our site and then headed to phily. we also got our gas pumped for us as in jersey, it's unlawful to pump your own gas. (me: "ma'm...I can pump my own gas." her: "you wanna do what?" with a little jersey accent. "where you from?" haha). then we took one of the biggest bridges ever over the river and saw where the constitution was signed, quincy was sworn in as president and other significant sites including the liberty bell. we also ate hard rock cafe and had all sorts of laughs. it was fun...and now i'm tired. and my brother is going to braid ann's hair...ann...beware!

in other news...i haven't remembered a dream since i was little. ever since this trip has began i've remembered two dreams. one of them involved me forgiving that guy and i was just happy again. i'm not sure what all of this means. i'm not sure what i want it to mean. i'm not sure if i believe in dreams! i guess i'll just have to wait patiently for april...and before all this chaos began i convinced myself that april wasn't that far off.

much needed spring breaks starts right about...now! all homework done (well...for the most part...), bags almost packed and i haven't slept since i woke up at 7 this morning. it's 4 am right now. 2 vans, 14 passangers and a crap load of luggage and food.

jersey here we come!

(see you in a week)

torn to pieces

i waited a long time before i trusted him with my heart. december was wonderful...and then he left for st. cloud, turned into a different person, cheated on me and took my heart and smashed it into a million little pieces.

and the worst part? some "friends" knew about it and let it drag on for longer than it needed to.

i just want him to know how much it hurts and i hope that he hurts too...and that life will not be pretty for him when he gets back to btown...too many people care about me to not do something. where's chris when i need him? get your shotgun!

and now i'm done. done crying...i don't want to talk about it anymore.

and thanks for true friends who dragged me out of the house last night. it was much better than wollowing on my bed, cell phone in hand, not knowing what to do.

i lied...i feel like crying again...and i will again when i remember all the good times we had in december.

why are guys such idiots?! i'm playing sad wollowing songs on my ipod...chariot give me your strength. grrr...i just want the friendship back...and things to be back to normal. bring on spring break.

this would make anyone's day brighter.






i needed that.

i've never known what it's like to put trust in someone and then have them rip it all away in a matter of a few hours.

guess what? it hurts.

i think i've checked almost every site on the web...i'm sure i'm pretty close anyway.

and now i'm ready to start animating my glasses again. and keep my music up loud...the old dude on the computer in front of me is making funny noises...and if i look up or take my eyes off my computer...he tries to make conversation. gotta keep my eyes on the computer!

back to icky homework.

on my plate

-3D imaging, project 2. 4 animations...and count rendering time!
-multimedia II project. kiosk for local museum. meeting on wednesday.
-design guild trip thursday.
-habitat trip in less than 2 weeks!
-habitat chili feed fundraiser - march 9th...finish organizing
-habitat shirts done and ordered tomorrow...
-3 websites to finish...and soon.
-student senate website to update
-i've got to finish layout for the book i'm publishing...
-umm...social life? and one that doesn't count the computer...
-gotta find some money somewhere...good thing pay day is friday.
-let's finish up my resume and send it out after spring break.

-thursday...HOME.

mmm...weekends

sitting around doing nothing. having the guy home. television. sleep. i would say food, but i just got done complaning to my mom how that's pretty limited. tonight it was tomato soup and pop corn.

"I remember when I first got to WVU I was so happy and seemed to be getting along with everyone. Then I started drinking pop again. There is my answer, pop is fucking me over emotionally."
-andrew

and i had pop. at least 3 times this week. i haven't had pop in soooo many months. unfortunatly, i'm emotionally stable right now...but i kind of wish i wasn't so i would stop drinking it! NO MORE. i broke down and had mt. dew. i was craving it. no more.

again...i love grey's anatomy. but i didn't want george to move out. things will get better.

i also love the fact that the world can get together and party. unfortunatly to ricky martin and avril lavigne (which...it could be worse), but they're still partying. that's one of the many reason's i love the olympics...t minus how many days until swimming olympic trials?! i've got to start saving money!

kt needs her computer back. good night all!

sleepless in btown

tuesday night bedtime: 3:30. wednesday night bedtime: 4:00. and i'm still golden! it's so funny that a couple of weeks ago i was complaining about how tired i was and now i'm practically pulling one all nighter after the next. last night i got the student senate webpage up. theres still a couple of broken links (don't go to the constitution!) but go ahead and check it out.

i'm excited for the weekend...and for thursday night madness...and for seeing people. my computer at work isn't the only one that needs my attention.

hell day

so today i stayed in bed till about 4 today. not because i was sick, but because i killed my eyes. last night i went to bed and i could barely shut my eyes without them watering. i couldn't keep them open because they hurt too much. i finally got some shut eye but woke up numerous times throughout the night. this morning i couldn't keep them open and they wouldn't stop watering. i couldn't focus on anything with my eyes open. i finally got some more sleep, my eyes got some oxygen (as what was wrong with them was that they didn't get enough oxygen to replace the cells on my eyes), and one eye is healed...the other is still really really red, but i can open it and see things now.

what really sucks is that i had to miss the presidential luncheon at school. i had a free lunch! no fair... i secretly hope it sucked...but i know if was probably really good.

habitat meeting in 1 hour...i think there is a trips meeting. i feel so unorganized. i suck as el presidente. dang.

tonight: making one hell of a resume. it's going to rock.

it's a new love

grey's anatomy is seriously the newest love of my life. i love the characters and all the great feelings that are expressed in this show. i think it's because i'm such a guarded person that when i see all their emotions, i can't help but get attached. it's such a perfect mix of so many great emotions...i think i need to learn to express myself better. but no one needs to know me that well. sunday night television is my addiction.

and it just turned into the best show ever...george and meredith...way too cute.

last night. wow. i don't think that will ever happen again. at least i hope not. it wasn't supposed to happen. and now...i just need to recover :) sleep, ice cream and no contacts for a couple of days...i guess glasses are really the only consequence for my actions...besides the fact that i owe a friend 40 dollars...and that never should have happened. augh.

here's to another week...next saturday will be good. can't wait!

not much going on lately. lots of homework going on. trying to get a lot done with the book this weekend as i have a check point meeting on wednesday. i had a test on valentine's day which i'm hoping went ok. before that i hadn't had a test since oxford! i sat at home all valentine's day and read 6 chapters on history of modern design and ate dove chocolate and some of the chocolate that my parents sent me. they also sent me a really pretty bracelet which i may not take off for awhile. that night i went to northwoods with danielle, jenny, amanda and leann and we celebrated vday. then jenny and i hit slims where we scored free drinks. i then went home and went out with others later to 209. the single crowd...hmmm.

well...i've got habitat stuff to do. off to the bank! later...thursday night madness. excited!

more filming

here's a pic of cast and crew looking over the storyboards. yup working hard...and then after studying storyboards, i still couldn't act the way that i was supposed to. figures. ha.

andrea -- [noun]: A person who laughs at anything (even this entry) 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

how true.

o italia and osterreich

i miss italia right now. and i wish i was an olympian.

i also miss austria right now. my good guy friend has met a stripper. he wants to ask her to marry him. he's going back tonight to see her after his guy friends convinced him. he wants to be 'that friend' that marries a stripper. it's classic. he got me to go to a strip club in austria. i told him he should go eat greek food now as that's all that we did in vienna...went to a strip club and got free greek food from a very kind greek restaurant owner. amazing. he wants me to come down to the cities tonight to go back to the strip club with him...i sooo would, but i have to film tomorrow.

i need to stop watching opening ceremonies...they'll be on later tonight. i need to be productive right now.

disclaimer: i don't know if that's the EXACT spelling of osterreich...i know it's close so don't chew my head off if i spelt it wrong.

movie star

did i tell you i'm a movie star? well...sort of. i'm still trying to earn my gold star...but i have to learn to stop giggling so much on set. but it's fun. we had our second day filming on saturday. for some photos of the shoot, go to mr. director's blog.

my superbowl part II

here's a pic of tessa, with her computer, i just put my borrowed one down, our devoured green mill on the floor and, well, yes, we do have the superbowl on.

and i did know it was pitsburgh...it just took me awhile...it's all the same state. and hey, getting the same state is pretty good for not watching one football game this year.

favorite commercial? the advantage one, where the lady ends up in some guys lap in the airplane after some turbulance...and she was trying to make it to the bathroom. and the dove commercial for woman had all three of us in goosebumps and tessa said she shed a tear. and the kermit the frog one? that one HAD to be made for tessa (it is easy being green!)

o yeah, and tessa's team lost. she also chose it because one of their players, hasselbeck, well, his last name sounds like hasselhoff. another good reason.

p.s. we had a really amazing girls night on saturday night that included a scavenger hunt of bemidji. wild things happened, lots of laughs happened...and i can't even show you the pictures...as people like my siblings shouldn't be allowed to see them. but for you older folk (but not too older), go to facebook.

superbowl

soooo....completely untraditional superbowl for me. i'm sitting at tessa and jenny's, in days old pajama-y clothes, slippers, laptop, homework and i'm waiting for green mill. tessa's also laptoping it up and jenny's putting clothes away. we're just in it for the commercials basically though. and the kick off just went.

usually i'm at the smith's house or they are at my parents and we have a crap load of good appetizer food...and the guys get into the game, the girls talk...but we still enjoy the game. but not this year...just homework and the game.

by the way...i'm cheering for philly...only because i'm going there for spring break. tessa however is cheering for seattle...because she likes birds.

i was supposed to go snowboarding today, superlab tomorrow, but since lucas wasn't kind enough to tell us that bv wasn't open today...well, we made the trip out there just to find it closed. so amanda and i are going tomorrow. i hear it's the 7 7 7 deal..woohoo!

but yeah, stupid 3d studio max is taking FOR EV ER to render. i just want to see how the margarita glass is looking so i can figure out if i need to add more light.

well, i'm still tired these days. 5 o'clock hits and i'm yawning. i was almost out on the couch at 8 last night when jaime called and asked if i wanted to go to "humpback mountain" with some of our friends. brokeback jaime, brokeback. it was good...but kind of weird.

well...i'm going out tonight, probably not good for the tired body, but i'll live. my mom thinks that i'm tired, but i just won't recognize the reason. and she thinks she knows the reason. i won't atribute it to that but i don't know...sometimes your mom just tends to be right. we'll see.

have a good weekend...i'm sure i will.

cravings

i want to sit on the couch for the rest of the day, pop in a good movie (i'm thinking under the tuscan sun), eat taco johns and pizza and chicken fingers with honey mustard from quizno's and eat a heck of a lot of ice cream like i don't have a care in the world with how fat i could get and never do homework again.

distance relations

i hate how distance seems to destroy friendships. it's convenient to be a friend if that friend is right there with in reaching distance. however, they move away and that friendship fades to dust. it still exists in the form of we used to hang out all the time and now it's the person who i used to be really good friends with that now lives in ____ town. it's a sad happening.

what happens that makes us loose touch? i suspect that 2 different lives now take place. each person gets involved in new discoveries and the current is replaced with the new. i also suspect that some of it just has to do with natural human laziness.

i just wished that friends never went away. or that if they did, you would always have to stay connected...that there was no way to loose touch. but unfortunatly that happens...and i will admit to it being partly my fault. i think sometimes i need to step back from my crazy, hectic life and just enjoy life...because when i'm in crazy, hectic mode, when i get down time, i crash.

here's the start of a new week. wake up time: 6:30. good luck!

rocked out

so the battle was fun. i always feel bad at the end of the night when all of our bands gave it their best but we can only give the band who had the most people there to vote for them the winning prize. because we had some really sweet bands there. it was a lot of fun...and now i'm spent. i've lost my voice, but i think it's slowly coming back. and i got to sleep in today!

so i was supposed to go out of town this weekend, but that fell through. looks like i'm staying here. but that's ok, because i'm with people who love me and that's all that matters.

here's something funny though: i had my brother pick me up from the bar last night and take me home. my car is still at slim's...filled with habitat battle of the band stuff.

well...i think i'm going to clean my room...or attempt to. i can't really do laundry as the washer is broken and i don't feel like going out to take care of the laundry so it's just going to sit there.

have a wonderful weekend!

i love it when you call your mom and she not only puts everything into perspective but makes it seem like the world is NOT out to get you.

boys are stupid...and i'm smiling now.

life will be better after tonight...BATTLE OF THE BANDS!

drats

i was looking sleepily at my clock last night at 10:30. in bed at 11, watched a gilmore girls episode and was out by midnight. wow i suck. and then i still had problems making it in to work at 9. hmmmm...

in other news, my big party, battle of the bands, is tomorrow night. BE THERE. it will be a good time. good music, good food, door prizes...and who knows what all might happen. and while your having fun, you'll also be raising money for habitat for humanity...who knew that fundraising could be this exciting?

i could go for a double choc flake frescata right now...why is there no costa coffee here? aparently they're going international...

it's true

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

i'll take art.

relearning

so i'm trying to teach myself to stay up late again and get little sleep and wake up the next morning in time for class at 8 and STILL be able to make it through the day with out thinking about having a nap. we'll see if it works. tonight it looks like i'm going to make it to 12:30...next week 1? i included a picture from eurospring...that's me and our fat tire bike tour guide on our cruise down the seine river. that night, after the tour, we drank underneath the eiffel tour, missed the last metro and had to walk many miles through paris to get back to our hotel. i wasn't in bed until at least 3:30 that night and had to be on the bus at 8 that morning for our bus tour of paris. and that's how most of eurospring was. extremely late nights, extremely early mornings. and somehow i'm still living to tell the tale. i need to retrain!

fact is though, that if i am staying up this late i should be making an attempt to do my homework and not slopily put it together during my 2 hours of work tomorrow. not that i have much to do tomorrow anyway at work...wait. that's a lie.

i joined weightwatchers online over the weekend. i really forces me to make all of my foods and eat nothing but fruits and veggies...which i love anyway. but it's hard when the girls want to have supper with you on wednesday night and you have to plan out everything that you eat around that supper...you just can't come home and find something to eat that matches how many points you have left for the day. i told danielle that i had joined weightwatchers online today at the rec center and she commented on how skinny i was. i noticed tonight for once that i was looking skinner...when i sucked in my stomach. i still want the body i should have had when i was a swimmer...but is that something that i should want? i think its a goal that i could at least work towards. and at least it forces me to eat healthy. and i love that i can still eat fast food if i wish. we'll see how this goes for a month before i give up on it or not.

zerek and i were talking online tonight and i think he misses me. or maybe he misses zach. i don't know. he asked when i was coming home next...which would mean that i would have to bring zach home with me. i don't think he's ever gone this long without seeing zach. me...well, he's gone a couple months. because i'm so gosh darn busy.

but it's 12:31 right now. i've reached my goal for the night. it's bed time with a 7:30 am wake up call. nighters...