Thursday, December 21, 2006

got this off of anothers blog. kind of like it. others may not, but i kind of do.

You know boys are a funny thing. I mean you look around Bemidji and there is not much to choose from. Let's face it; Bemidji is not the ideal place to meet guys. Oh yes there is some great eye candy up there, what with all those Canadians so close to the border and with all those business majors and their hot ties (I like men's ties what can I say??). But truly, there is not a whole lot to pick from. But then fate steps in and BAM! Like a freight train headed due north, it hits you. You are looking for something that doesn't exist, not truly. My mother and I were dress shopping today and I was having the worst time picking a dress that I truly loved. Now granted i am a VERY picky person when it comes to my dress, but there was not much to choose from in that department either. Well, as i was complaining to my mother about the lame selection aloud in the third store we walked into, she turned to me and said "_____, you aren't going to find that perfect dress because the image that you have in your mind, the dress of your dreams is only in your mind and no dressmaker can bring that to life for you". As I continued looking I realized that i had been taking the same approach I did for dresses, to men. I have always imagined an ideal man. Someone perfect, someone wonderful, funny, intelligent, etc. I had even created a list of the qualities i was looking for in the man I would date, or at least end up with. But then i realized, that man doesn't exist nor will he ever. I am looking for a dream, a figment of my imagination. Someone so perfect and wonderful no human can compare. And so all this time as I was struggling to not only find that perfect person, but that perfect person interested in ME, I had missed many chances at perfectly wonderful human relationships. I have feared i would end up alone and single all the rest of my days but I realized if that happened it would be my own fault because i never allowed the perfectly wonderful guy to approach me while I was waiting for a saint. And so I apologize to all the men in my life that i have let down and hurt. I have been trying to reform myself and hopefully when i return in the spring I will have loosened up a bit and will be much more... approachable.

i just thought it was interesting, despite the rambles, because i think it's completely true. men are not perfect, just as women are not either. i embrace a man's imperfectness...i think its great character. and if they mess up? i forgive them, just as i would forgive anyone else, because i know it could happen to me too.



Thursday, December 14, 2006

300 dollar check..............

please get here sooooooonn..............................

i am broke.....................

and i still need to buy my squeaky an xmas gift.....................




that's it.
this may be one of the most challenging things i've ever had to do.

how do you comfort someone who has lost a family member to suicide?

i know they need to grieve, but my heart hurts for them, having to watch them go through this pain.

i just want to take it away from them and make it all better. but i can't.

Monday, December 11, 2006

what happened to haloscan? i can't see if someone leaves me a comment...i went to their website and it seems as if the whole site is down. hopefully not for good?

for now...until haloscan comes back up or until i can get a new message thingy...shot me comments here: giggles1444@hotmail.com.
THE best website ever. i have a new obsession (along with the thrift store from below). go here:



www.etsy.com



it's a website where people can buy and sell hand made items. check out the necklace i just bought for $3. that's including shipping and handling. amazing.



so yeah, check it out...i have a feeling a lot of money (or maybe not so much??) will be spent there. or i can at least get ideas for myself to make artsy craftsy things.
all my papers are done...well, besides my thesis. i'm going to work hard on that this xmas break.

3 tests left. 1 will be hard. i think i will be eating tuna fish sandwiches for the rest of the week. but everything is well spaced out that i think i will be golden. i'm just excited to finish this semester off!

my new secret obsession? value thrift ...or whatever the thrift store is called that's located right outside of btown on south 71. it's amazing. i've bought some pretty amazing things there. i'm pumped to buy even more.

although, i do have to watch what i spend. i'm buying a macbook with a dual processor (i like both platforms so well...i can't believe there is a computer with both!) in february. i love loan money. but i'm sure it doesn't like me back. there will be payback one day, but for my new computer? i can take it.

this last weekend was amazing, yet challenging. i won't go into it, but i think it definetly brought me and a friend much closer together.
something to read? here's my last paper. if you're going to criticique it...be nice. a lot of hard work went into it!

Period Project Essay
St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican: What is its Function?


St. Peter’s Basilica, located in the Vatican City, Rome, is a place of pilgrimage for all those who practice not just Catholicism, but Christianity. Every day, 17,000-23,000 people line up outside the walls of Vatican City to venture inside. They each have different reasons for being there, ranging from jobs to daily mass to tourism, with many making their way to place their hand upon the foot of the giant statue of St. Peter, some even kissing his foot, thanking him for their safe journey to visit his final resting place.

With so many people visiting the basilica each day, it is curious to wonder what the common tourist sees as the function of the basilica. I had a chance to visit the basilica in April of 2005 with a group of students. St. Peter’s Basilica and its square were the last part of our tour through the Vatican; we were starting with the Vatican museum and then we made our way through the Sistine Chapel before entering the basilica. The Vatican is the home of many priceless pieces of artwork, most commissioned by Roman Pontiffs over the last 500 years. St. Peter’s Basilica is one of the largest works of art in Vatican City, as Michelangelo’s dome is visible in the skyline. Before I had the chance to visit St. Peter’s, I did not know the history of the basilica, and upon entering the basilica, I found that it hosted many important and impressive pieces of art, most of them donated to the church. I had no idea of what St. Peter’s Basilica actually stood for and it’s curious to wonder how many others visit the basilica as a museum and not a church. It seems to me that St. Peter’s may have somewhat of the same problem that Susan Slyomovics argued in her essay, “Cross-Cultural Dress and tourist Performance in Egypt,” where she states that tourists visiting Egypt seemed to be lured in by ancient Egypt but are “seldom aware of Egypt’s other attractions” (Slymovics). It seems as in some cases, the lure of the artwork, altars, monuments and grottos are so strong that visitors are seldom aware of St. Peter’s actual meaning. Although daily mass attracts thousands of people, 50 percent of people who enter St. Peter’s are tourists; but are they there to honor St. Peter or are they there to view its priceless artwork?

It is important to know why St. Peter’s Basilica was erected in order to better understand the buildings function. St. Peter’s Basilica was built to honor St. Peter; one of Jesus’ first named disciples. Peter was born Simon Bar-Jona and his brother, St. Andrew, another apostle of Christ, led him to Jesus. Peter was not always one to follow the rules and was usually described as unlearned and ignorant. He refused to let Jesus wash his feet and usually did not think before acting, in one case he sliced off the ear of the high priest servant at the moment of Christ’s arrest. However, he was very devoted to Jesus and had a great sense of humanity. Peter was the one who led the disciples back to Jesus when they became frustrated with Jesus’ teachings, claiming to whom else shall we go? Jesus eventually renames Peter, his name meaning rock. Jesus told Peter that he is the rock and is to be the foundation of the church. He is mentioned in the Bible to be the first disciple and after Christ’s crucifixion and rising, Christ appears resurrected to Peter first. Peter and Paul, another saint spreading the word of Christianity and Christ, came to Rome to spread the faith of Christ as Rome was the capital of the empire. Peter was the first bishop of Rome and later the first pope. Christians decided that they should name a new pope after St. Peter died to continue to lead the Christians on Earth. Peter was eventually crucified by Nero, emperor of Rome at the time, as Nero had a great dislike of Christians. Nero crucified him in his circus and he was buried nearby, outside the arena, on the side of Vatican Hill. He was crucified head downward on a cross because he claimed he was not worthy to die in the same manor as Christ. He appears with keys in his hands in many statues as he holds the keys to the church and when he arrives in heaven, he will hold the keys to the gates of heaven.

After Peter’s death, Christians began to pilgrimage to Rome to visit St. Peter’s grave. Small churches and hospices arose in the area due to all the people. Pope Leo IV surrounded the area with walls and towers which are still preserved today. Due to the large amount of people making their way to Rome to visit St. Peter’s grave, Constantine, the emperor of the time, decided to build a basilica in honor of the Apostle Peter, choosing to build it right on top of Vatican Hill, where St. Peter is supposedly buried. The basilica was also built on top of a Roman cemetery, using tombs laid to the west of the building as part of the basilica’s foundation. Constantine was determined to build the central most sacred part of basilica right above St. Peter’s resting place, however, no one for many years was even sure if that exact place was were St. Peter rested. In 1968, Pope Paul VI did announce that there was evidence that clearly states that St. Peter does rest directly under the altar of the old basilica and now the new basilica.

The church is built in reverse of how churches before the Constantinian Era were built. Before Constantine, the sanctuary of the church was at the East end. At St. Peter’s the sanctuary is at the West and the entrance at the East. This was so when whomever was giving the sermon at the high alter, the rays of the rising sun fell on that person. It is also said that during vernal equinox, at dawn, the doors of the church would be thrown open to let the first rays of dawn hit St. Peter’s shrine. This had to do with Constantine being a sun worshipper and the Romans identifying Christ with the god of the rising sun.

The old basilica is based off the Roman Hall of Justice Basilica. The chief judge’s throne turned into the bishop’s throne and assistant judges’ benches are where the worshippers now sat. The basilica also has 2 side aisles on each side of the nave, or the main aisle, which is different from the basic basilica plan and helps to support the weight of the roof. Also different is the transept that was added to the front of the basilica. This was added to help fit in all the people who came to worship and to create a Latin cross shape for the church. A narthex was also built to provide a place for those who had not yet been baptized. The basilica was finished rather quickly in 349 Common Era. It was built using remnants and bits and pieces of other buildings.

Over the years, old St. Peter’s began to decay. There was no one around for worship or to light candles for worship and there were cattle grazing off weeds in the atrium and actually entering the church. It was also discovered that the only thing holding the church up was the roof beams. The gold doors that once adorned the front of the church were stolen as war trophies by the German troops of Barbarossa.

Pope Nicholas V was the first to suggest rebuilding the basilica. Nicholas did not see all of his plans finished. He also had plans to restore Vatican City, which only a part of the city was rebuilt during his time. Pope Julius II took over the construction, and went looking for a new design for the church that would represent the great papacy.

Julius took on the construction of the basilica with demolition that took place bit by bit so that people could still visit. The start of demolition of the largest part of the old church took place on April 18, 1506. Bramante was whom Julius picked to design and rebuild the church. Bramante was inspired by the Pantheon and had designed the new church to have a Greek cross plan, so that when looking down at the church from above, it would resemble a Greek cross. The new basilica would be 5.78 acres and would be able to sit 60,000 people.

Works on the church then stopped for 20 years and when they started back up again there was a new pope and Bramante had also passed away. There was then a new competition between artists and their designs for the continuation of the reconstruction of the church. There were arguments between whether to continue the Greek cross design or to go with a Latin cross design, where one of the wings would be longer than the rest. Michelangelo finally took over the design as he really appreciated Bramante’s beautiful design plans. Michelangelo left his mark on the plans with the design of the dome at the top of the church, which today is one of the basilica’s most prominent features.

Michelangelo was not able to see the finish of his dome. In 1593, Giacomo Della Porta and Domenico Fontan took over construction. With each pope, Bramante’s initial design changed a little and there were many changes made due to the short amount of time each pope held the papacy. Pope Paul V decided to restore the basilica to its original Latin cross plan and eventually architect Carlo Maderno came and added 3 chapels to each side of the building and conducted the naves up to the current façade, which construction for was terminated for 400 years and the plans restored in 2000. The new basilica was finally consecrated in November 1626. In April of 2006, the Vatican celebrated 500 years of the construction of the new St. Peter’s Basilica.

Since St. Peter’s was first constructed, it has been accumulating pieces of now famous artwork under its large ceiling. It is home for many alters and monuments of well known saints and moments in Catholicism, some of these saints even buried in the grottoes and necropolis located below the basilica. Probably the most famous piece of work would be Michelangelo’s Pieta. The piece was commissioned by French cardinal Jean Bilheres de Lagraulas and was first located in the Old St. Peter’s and was later reinstalled in the new basilica. The sculpture is of the Virgin Mary holding the body of the now dead Jesus on her lap. It is said that this sculpture is Michelangelo’s most “finished” piece of work. This may be a very accurate statement as it is the only piece that Michelangelo has ever signed, as he went back to carve his name into his Pieta after visitors started saying it was another artist’s work.

Another piece that was originally in the old basilica would be Giotto’s Navicella, which is now restored over the main portico when you first enter the basilica. The mosaic, which is much smaller than what it originally used to be due to construction between the two basilicas, shows St. Peter walking on water during a storm. It is to represent the church and no matter how much the church has to deal with storms and oppositions, it will never fall, as it has a sturdy foundation. To the right of the main portico, is the Holy Door. Made by Vico Consorti, it is made of bronze, though originally wood, and on its door shows the sins that man has made through time. Every 25 years it is opened by the pope, during Jubilee. It is said that when a pilgrim to the church walks through the doors, all of there debts will be pardoned.

The giant papal altar, made by Bernini, rests directly over St. Peter’s resting place. His first work for the church, it took 9 years to complete and is made of Greek marble and bronze borrowed from the Pantheon. It also sits directly below Michelangelo’s dome and is the exact size to fit perfectly inside of the sky light in the center of the dome. Michelangelo’s dome is another great installment of the St. Peter’s. It was his gift to the church; he accepted no money for the design or construction of it, although he was not able to see it finished. It adds light to the large basilica and the windows that surround the lower portion of the dome give the dome a floating look.

The artwork, alters, monuments and grottos that St. Peter’s and the Vatican offer to view is how some people understand Catholicism; it is a better way for them to interpret what they believe in and what they stand for as a catholic. As art historian Elizabeth Lev says:

“You see how the work of Bernini reveals the interaction of the Holy Spirit throughout the church. When Bernini is working in St. Peter’s he’s trying to make us understand the presence of the Holy Spirit. When Michelangelo’s in the church, he’s trying to give us more of the physical presence of God. So the way that art and history and this sacredness of place all work together, provides just a draw to St. Peter’s.”

It is argued that with so many people entering St. Peter’s each day and the size of daily mass growing, that St. Peter’s will need to determine what exactly it’s function is. Many people entering the basilica are there to see and be amazed by the art work, to gaze at the towering building, and to visit the grotto located below the building. But how many people are actually there to honor St. Peter and what exactly his basilica stands for; what it was built for? It needs to be remembered that these pieces of art where made for those who pilgrimage to honor St. Peter, to help better understand his story and how he made it possible for you to understand Jesus’ story. It will be interesting to see how the Vatican deals with the growing number of people who come to St. Peter’s, whether they will need to expand the already large space provided for visitors. My only piece of advice to the future visitors is to know why St. Peter’s Basilica is there for you and know that the basilica and all that it holds inside were made to help you better understand the presence of the Holy Spirit.


Bibliography

Baumgarten, Paul Maria. “Basilica of St. Peters.” The Catholic Encyclopedia, Volume XIII. Published 1912. New York: Robert Appleton Company. Nihil Obstat, February 1, 1912. Remy Lafort, D.D., Censor. Imprimatur. +John Cardinal Farley, Archbishop of New York

Calvesi, Maurizio. “Treasures of the Vatican: St. Peter’s Basilica, the Vatican Museums and Galleries, the Treasure of St. Peters, the Vatican Grottoes and Necropolis, the Vatican Palaces.” World Pub. Co. Cleveland. 1962.

Hersey, George L. “High Renaissance and Art in St. Peter’s and the Vatican: an Interpretive Guide.” Chicago: University of Chicago Press. 1993.

“Interview with Elizabeth Lev.” http://www.stpetersbasilica.org/People/LizLev.htm

McNally, Augustin Francis. “St. Peter’s on the Vatican; The First Complete Account in Our English Tongue of its Origins and Reconstruction.” New York, Strand Press. 1939.

St. Peter’s Basilica.org. http://www.stpetersbasilica.org. October 20, 2006.

Slyomovics, Susan. “Cross-Cultural Dress and Tourist Performance in Egypt. Performing Arts Journal, Vol. 11, No. 3, The Interculturalism Issue. (1989), pp.139-148.

“The Vatican Collections: The Papacy and Art.” The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, and Harry N. Abrams, Inc., Publishers, New York. 1982.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

square

yes, that quote was mine. don't know where it came from :)

also...do you have a blog up and running right now? you should let me know.

andi
i forgot how entertaining mean girls was. it's also a great tool for procrastination.

after this measly 4 page paper, the only paper i have left to type for my college career (as far as i can see) would be my thesis.

woohoo!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

it was weird as i walked through the courtyard and into the next building that had a tunnel, making my way to work after picking up a salad at the union and passing by 18 year olds running after each other in the tunnels...i'm ready to be out. i'm ready for the real world and a grown up job.

it's kind of scary when you realize that you've grown up. but not as scary when you still realize how much growing up you have left to do.

Monday, December 04, 2006

i love how advertising talks to you. as of right now, i want a cherry colored chocolate phone from verizon. and i will sing christina aguilera's candy man song every time i see it. and if i owned one, i would probably put that song as my ring tone.

christmas is coming...$99. we could make it a contest to see who loves me the most?
saturday evening i went out to buy a new shirt (which it seems that this is what my life has amounted to: homework, work, and buying new shirts) with a friend. then i went home and wrestled with my hair for about an hour. it was curled, sprayed and i thought finally somewhat decent. it was nice that others noticed. at keg, the lady bouncer commented on my hair as well as the next 5 random people that i ran into. it was nice to know that an hour spent on looking good was actually noticed.

then i proceeded on with my usual saturday night: finding carly and her volleyball friends, dancing, having only 1 drink if that as i usually end up driving, and then when carly and her friends are ready to go home, i offer to drive them so that they don't have to go and find random people to drive them. one of her friends says that its my turn to get drunk next time we go out, which is something i haven't done in a long time. but when you have to worry about getting to the bars and getting home and who you have to entrust to do that duty...i would rather not drink and drive myself.